At the end of a retreat recently an encounter with a female retreatant; typifies what I commonly face:

She said it is very unusual for a guy to be 'involved in this activity' (as she puts it) and was curious to know how I got into it.

During the conversation it transpired that I come from a non-Catholic tradition which surprised her even more. Finally when she found out that I am not a religious but a layperson, the conversation ground to a halt.

I face this unasked but implied question of ‘what are you then doing here?’ regularly and it is timely that I have an opportunity to address this for the first time in the hope of encouraging one and all to consider this activity.

To start with the obvious – guys too have feelings and they too would like an avenue to express these feelings in a non-intimidating atmosphere. They may express it in a manner different from women but it does not mean they feel less deeply because they don’t demonstrate it as freely. (By the way, spiritual direction started with priests i.e. guys).

Over time the Catholic tradition became identified with this spiritual aspect of the faith. In reality, spirituality is really about an individual’s relationship with God and the development of that relationship as the individual journeys through life. This relationship is personal. It is for all to develop this awareness of the presence of God in our lives.

In my case I found Church liturgy meaningful and uplifting in both the Catholic and Protestant traditions of the Christian faith. They are both beautiful and eloquent expressions of public worship of our God. But what happens to me at other times in my life when I am not in communal worship? I felt a need for a closer relationship with God, at work, with my family, among friends and even with people I do not like. The formation programme; allows me to respect one another’s; tradition. But more importantly, it develops a stronger bond with each other as individuals who are equally created and loved by the same God.

I stumbled into spiritual direction because of my need to feel His presence around me in my life. In my head and because He said so I know He is around, but do I feel it in my heart as I go about living my life? Am I even aware of Him?

The practice of having a spiritual companion has done wonders for me – not because I say so. In fact I was not aware of such changes in my life, until my family tells me I have somehow changed, I have more patience, am more calm and less easily stressed: my colleagues tell me that my attitude towards my work and how I approach it is somehow different.
What I do feel is a greater connectedness and compassion to everyone as fellow human beings, God’s creation one and all. This awareness is becoming a cornerstone of how I conduct myself in my life.

From Victor Lam (one of the 12 participants; in our programme 2004-2006).